The season is upon us, the season of ghosts, haunts, haints, and the delightful chill of dark tales whispered at the dead of night. Over the last two weeks on Twitter (hint: follow me @WriterOdell) I've shared some of my favorite horror podcast stories to help set the mood and I wanted to add a few more to the list because, let's face it, you can't have enough scary stories. So, in no particular order: ...continue reading "HEAR THAT? HALLOWEEN SPECIAL"
A week late and a dollar short, but life has finally settled enough to allow a few moments to talk about GeekGirlCon. (YMMV)
GeekGirlCon first opened its doors in October of 2011, a celebration of the female geek, of all geeks, really. It started small, and has grown steadily since, moving from the Seattle Center and EMP to the Washington State Conference Center. This year they expanded the dealers' room, allowing for nearly twice as many dealers and exhibitors. There were multiple panel tracks, and a kickin' DIY science area (honest, you have to see the science area). For four of the last six ...continue reading "Open Minds & Open Hearts: GeekGirlCon 2016"
"Where do you get your ideas?"
Writers write what we know, teasing out bits of truth to flavor our fiction. Here is one such truth. Somewhat squicky pictures below. You've been warned.
It's all started here.
A small sore on the side of my nose turned out to be a schlerocizing basal cell rodent tumor with an aggressive hysology (i.e., it grew fast and ate away at the flesh.) In March of 2016 ...continue reading "Phobias, and Where Stories Come From"
Much like ice cream, garlic, and really good chocolate, there are a variety of podcasts to suit every taste in fiction. (What do you mean you don't like garlic? That's just not right.)
Hugo Award-winning LIGHTSPEED MAGAZINE burst onto the interwebz in June of 2010. Under the leadership of editor John Joseph Adams, it soon merged with its sister FANTASY MAGAZINE and became one of the premiere markets for short fiction, and quality podcasts produced by Skyboat Media. You can ...continue reading "HEAR THAT? Lightspeed Magazine"
"The difference between shame and guilt is the difference between 'I am bad' and 'I did something good'." -Dr. Brene Brown
Yesterday I did a good thing. I shared something BIG with my husband, the man who holds my heart and has my back, and with that telling I was ashamed.
(Yeah, yeah, I know. I have nothing to be ashamed of, I'm a good person, be strong, be proud of myself. Another moody writer, blah, blah, blah. Moving on.)
Shame is depression's Child. It strips away the good and strong, proves to me I am not worthy, shatters joy. Shame follows depression and diabetes everywhere, laughs at the same jokes, eats what they eat. Oh, yes. Double fudge chocolate malts with extra malt, a bacon burger with extra bacon, a large order of onion rings, and a slice of pecan pie, warm, with whipped cream, for dessert. And a Sprite Zero, of course. Have to watch those blood sugars, don't'cha know.
Since starting therapy (mumbled) years ago, I have made considerable, if often painful, progress. Every day I struggle to reclaim what my father and ex-husband have taken away. A good friend would say progress not perfection. I recognize that I am better off now than I was when I made that first call for help; ;I also recognize that I have far to go. I am only now coming to grips with the jagged pieces of my childhood, and in part that entails another phase of addressing my abusive relationship with food.
So, where does this leave me and why am I sharing all this? Maybe to hold myself accountable.
I use food for the same reason an alcoholic drink and a drug addict uses (I do not consider marijuana in this category. Deal with it.). Food is friend, comfort, and executioner rolled into one. I deserve to have diabetes because I am a bad person. I eat to console myself, drug myself, then punish myself with more food because my blood sugar numbers are already horrific. Eat to console, eat to punish. Rinse, repeat.
Yesterday I started Jardiance, a medication that promotes the body to pass even more sugar through the urine. I feel like roadkill. The med has made a significant difference in my sugars, by as much as 70 points at some readings, and now my body is convinced I'm having a permanent low blood sugar and I must EAT ALL THE THINGS. I'M DYING! GET THE SUGARS BACK UP WHERE THEY BELONG. MOAR! MOAR!!!
Depression is one of the cornerstones of my often tenuous mental health. It fuels the diabetes which in turn fuels the depression, and shame feeds off them both Talk about a co-dependent relationship.
Stay tuned. . .
I found myself writing upstairs yesterday. "Are you sure you want to do that?" I said.
Myself didn't look up from the monitor. "Mmmmm?"
"Write that novel.."
Myself nodded, still not looking up. "Mmmhmm."
I dropped onto the couch, sending the cat running. "The first one hasn't even sold."
That earned an eyebrow but ...continue reading "So I Says To Myself. . ."
Yesterday I realized I had forgotten the anniversary of my mother's death. I knew it was coming up soon, the 28th? 29th?, and went to check the dates. She died eight years ago, June 24th.
I'm not certain how I feel about having forgotten. I still think of her ...continue reading "Mom"
Yesterday was difficult. It hurts too much to say more than that.
Why didn't you tell us you were a child in elementary school? That you lived ...continue reading "Guns In The Closet"
Let's hear it for podcasts!
See what I did there? See? See?. . .suit yourself.
THE DRABBLECAST may well be my favorite fiction pocast. It certainly is the one I've listened to longest, introduced by a friend who thought I would appreciate the show's mission to bring "strange stories, by strange authors, to strange listeners such as yourself", and I am happy to say I've been a fan ever since. THE DRABBLEAST looks at weird fiction not only as ann expression of other genres, but as a genre of its own. From ...continue reading "HEAR THAT? The Drabblecast"